Beating the rage

By Rebecca Fraser
HEAVY metal is coming to Pakenham but this is no rock band.
It is a new 12week program designed for men wanting to change their behaviour and address their violent ways.
Greater Dandenong resident David Nugent, 43, started Heavy Metal (Men’s Education Towards Anger and Life) earlier this year and will now run a group at the Outlook Community Centre in Pakenham from October.
He said he understood the importance of seeking help and readily admitted that if he had not changed his behaviour he would have lost his partner and family.
Mr Nugent has now been involved in men’s programs for 10 years, receiving support and counselling and giving it.
He said the group came about after Dianne Wilson, community centre manager at the Outlook Community Centre, contacted him.
Ms Wilson said she hoped the group would help save relationships and stop family violence.
“You just need to look at the statistics in Cardinia Shire on family violence and the number of men in crisis to see the need for this group.
“Families are buying homes with huge mortgages and are having young families or losing jobs and there are real pressures.
“This group will help men understand themselves better and open the doors for them and their families to get some help,” Ms Wilson said.
The program is designed to help men identify, understand and take responsibility for their behaviour, attitudes and emotional reactions and provide support and strategies that help men through their crisis of change from abusive behaviour to nonabusive behaviour.
Mr Nugent said men had never been shown how to express their emotions and feelings and when they are in heated discussions they often end up boxed in and revert to their old habits.
“I call it fight or flight. Men either fight it or they run away.
“You have to find that middle ground but it is not as easy as it seems,” he said.
Mr Nugent has completed a graduate certificate in Social Science for Male Family Violence as a group facilitator and telephone counsellor at Swinburne University and is currently completing a post graduate diploma in counselling at La Trobe University.
He said he understood first hand what these men, families and children were going through and the importance of seeking help.
“I went through this because I was using violence.
“I used to be violent behind closed doors and then one day I forgot where I was and was violent towards my partner in public.
“I did not want to go to the program but my partner insisted that I go and get help.
“Blow me down I ended up staying for 18 months,” he said.
The group will meet on Thursday nights from 79pm from 6 October.
Anyone interested in attending Heavy Metal can call David Nugent on 0401 766 877.